Comments on: Why it’s hard contacting birth parents for the first time http://retinoblastomafocus.com/blog/why-its-hard-contacting-birth-parents-for-the-first-time/ Dealing with Retinoblastoma Tue, 06 Jan 2009 03:54:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: Kerri http://retinoblastomafocus.com/blog/why-its-hard-contacting-birth-parents-for-the-first-time/#comment-6686 Kerri Mon, 28 May 2007 01:13:15 +0000 http://retinoblastomafocus.com/blog/why-its-hard-contacting-birth-parents-for-the-first-time/#comment-6686 Hi, I'm actually doing a Mini PIP for society and culture. I'm reseachin in class right now and came across this blog. (How I don't know when they censor 90% of the useful websites. -_-') Anyway I'm only 16 and I think I've been amazingly lucky in finding out about my biological family. My Grandmother (on my mother's side) seems to have contacted my parents about 2 years ago, I got a call from a councillor person to see if I'd be ok with it and I said yes since I figured I didn't really have much to loose. I finally met my Grand-mother, my Aunties, cousins etc and they all turned out to share some striking similarities to me and some natural quirks too. ^_^ I have however omitted my mother. She is from what I can deduce from talking with my cousin and poking around a few pamphlets, probably in a home for the mentally ill as she has scizophrenia. So I have had the interesting experience of meeting nearly everyone in my biological family except for my mother. =\ Anyway I have to finnish his up now as class has just ended. I don't know if this was even relevant but I have had a fair bi of trouble finding any online chats more based around the adoptee's experiences than the parents. Hi, I’m actually doing a Mini PIP for society and culture.
I’m reseachin in class right now and came across this blog.
(How I don’t know when they censor 90% of the useful websites. -_-’)

Anyway I’m only 16 and I think I’ve been amazingly lucky in finding out about my biological family. My Grandmother (on my mother’s side) seems to have contacted my parents about 2 years ago, I got a call from a councillor person to see if I’d be ok with it and I said yes since I figured I didn’t really have much to loose.

I finally met my Grand-mother, my Aunties, cousins etc and they all turned out to share some striking similarities to me and some natural quirks too. ^_^

I have however omitted my mother.
She is from what I can deduce from talking with my cousin and poking around a few pamphlets, probably in a home for the mentally ill as she has scizophrenia. So I have had the interesting experience of meeting nearly everyone in my biological family except for my mother. =\

Anyway I have to finnish his up now as class has just ended.
I don’t know if this was even relevant but I have had a fair bi of trouble finding any online chats more based around the adoptee’s experiences than the parents.

]]> By: janet http://retinoblastomafocus.com/blog/why-its-hard-contacting-birth-parents-for-the-first-time/#comment-259 janet Mon, 05 Mar 2007 23:50:05 +0000 http://retinoblastomafocus.com/blog/why-its-hard-contacting-birth-parents-for-the-first-time/#comment-259 Nicole, that is so sad. There are many stories like yours, and it's hard to believe they still exist. The secrecy of adoption rears its ugly head again. Part of it, I think, is that some adoptive parents fear they will lose their child if they know they're adopted, because they will search for the natural parents. What they don't realise is that by concealing the truth, they have a very big risk of "losing" their child, because they have lost that child's trust in them. What a terrible shock it must have been for you. I don't know how you coped with it back then...it would have been very distressing. Some people confront their parents, while others clam up, bottle their feelings. Both scenarios can be disastrous. I can only hope that with the education potential adoptive parents get these days that secrecy no longer prevails. Nicole, that is so sad. There are many stories like yours, and it’s hard to believe they still exist. The secrecy of adoption rears its ugly head again. Part of it, I think, is that some adoptive parents fear they will lose their child if they know they’re adopted, because they will search for the natural parents. What they don’t realise is that by concealing the truth, they have a very big risk of “losing” their child, because they have lost that child’s trust in them. What a terrible shock it must have been for you. I don’t know how you coped with it back then…it would have been very distressing. Some people confront their parents, while others clam up, bottle their feelings. Both scenarios can be disastrous. I can only hope that with the education potential adoptive parents get these days that secrecy no longer prevails.

]]> By: Nicole http://retinoblastomafocus.com/blog/why-its-hard-contacting-birth-parents-for-the-first-time/#comment-258 Nicole Mon, 05 Mar 2007 20:44:41 +0000 http://retinoblastomafocus.com/blog/why-its-hard-contacting-birth-parents-for-the-first-time/#comment-258 I am 35 years old and I found out when I was about 14 that I was adopted; and not by my parents. Adoption had never been discussed in our house before. My sister and I are 8 months apart and look nothing alike, but that's besides the point. Anyways we got to thinking, how can we be 8 months apart if it takes 9 months to have a baby? So we got to snooping around when Mom and Dad weren't home. We found an adoption book, so that led us to look further day by day. Well, we found pictures of our Mom in the hospital with my sister but none of me, along with a hospital bracelet. I am 35 years old and I found out when I was about 14 that I was adopted; and not by my parents. Adoption had never been discussed in our house before. My sister and I are 8 months apart and look nothing alike, but that’s besides the point. Anyways we got to thinking, how can we be 8 months apart if it takes 9 months to have a baby? So we got to snooping around when Mom and Dad weren’t home. We found an adoption book, so that led us to look further day by day. Well, we found pictures of our Mom in the hospital with my sister but none of me, along with a hospital bracelet.

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