http://retinoblastomafocus.com/blog/when-its-time-to-let-go-in-adoption/ Dealing with Retinoblastoma Tue, 06 Jan 2009 04:06:16 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 http://retinoblastomafocus.com/blog/when-its-time-to-let-go-in-adoption/#comment-4 janet Wed, 14 Feb 2007 01:17:02 +0000 http://retinoblastomafocus.com/blog/when-its-time-to-let-go-in-adoption/#comment-4 Abebech, this does make sense. I think you're right. The pain of rejection cannot just be ignored or just put aside. It is real pain and it needs to be acknowledged. I had to have my pain acknowledged for a long time before I could let the situation go. As you said, it was/is out of my control. Thank you for bringing that up. Abebech, this does make sense. I think you’re right. The pain of rejection cannot just be ignored or just put aside. It is real pain and it needs to be acknowledged. I had to have my pain acknowledged for a long time before I could let the situation go. As you said, it was/is out of my control. Thank you for bringing that up.

]]> http://retinoblastomafocus.com/blog/when-its-time-to-let-go-in-adoption/#comment-2 abebech Tue, 13 Feb 2007 14:38:56 +0000 http://retinoblastomafocus.com/blog/when-its-time-to-let-go-in-adoption/#comment-2 This is a really interesting post. Do you think there's a distinction between your "letting go," which I take as acknowledging your lack of control of the circumstances and finding peace despite the pain of apparent rejection, and Mia's "letting _it_ go," by which she seems to mean refusal or denial of the pain (usually advocated by people who haven't been in similar pain). "Letting go" of an unwilling mother seems an almost impossible but perhaps necessary task, almost a second traumatic separation (this time from an idea or hope held dear) but letting it go seems to me to mean deciding that the pain was insignificant, afterall, which denies the necessity of grief and grieving. I don't know if that makes sense, but how freeing it must be not to be waiting or hoping for your birth mother to change! This is a really interesting post.
Do you think there’s a distinction between your “letting go,” which I take as acknowledging your lack of control of the circumstances and finding peace despite the pain of apparent rejection, and Mia’s “letting _it_ go,” by which she seems to mean refusal or denial of the pain (usually advocated by people who haven’t been in similar pain). “Letting go” of an unwilling mother seems an almost impossible but perhaps necessary task, almost a second traumatic separation (this time from an idea or hope held dear) but letting it go seems to me to mean deciding that the pain was insignificant, afterall, which denies the necessity of grief and grieving. I don’t know if that makes sense, but how freeing it must be not to be waiting or hoping for your birth mother to change!

]]>