Have I been avoiding summarising this chapter? Wel, not consciously, but now that I’ve re-read it, I think maybe my subconscious mind was steering me away from it. It actually brought fresh tears to my eyes.
“I had always promised myself that if I ever went blind, I would kill myself.”.
That’s the opening line of this chapter in ‘Beyond the Red Door’. But that’s not what made me cry. It was reliving the terrible day when my eye ruptured, a crisis that I’d never dreamed could happen to me.
I cried because of the many emotions I went through in the subsequent months as I battled to save my sight and my eye – fear, shock, despair, anger, hope, hopelessness. I’ll never forget the terror I felt when I went to an eye specialist, knowing something bad had happened to my eye. He said, as soon as he saw me: “My god, what have you done to your eye?” And that’s when the avalanche started.
At the end of the chapter, I’m facing the biggest decision of my life. You’ll have to read it to find out what it is.
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