Adoption Controversy Hits the West Coast

In Australia, not much hits the headlines on the subject of adoption. But in the last couple of days, the West Coast has erupted following the revelation of a child being adopted by a male couple.

In Western Australia, we have open adoptions. This means the birth mother – and the birth father, if he is a willing partner – chooses the adoptive parents for the child. These prospective adoptive parents have undergone intensive education and assessment on their ability to be parents. But being an adoptive parent is different: these parents must understand the issues of adoption, that the adopted child has unique needs which can’t be ignored or covered up.

I’ve been astounded by the huge response on talk-back radio shows, mostly against this particular case. From past experience in adoption, I know full well that emotions run high in the adoption debate, that it triggers strong feelings.

I’ve been very saddened by the attitudes of the majority of people towards same sex couples taking on the adoptive parent role. For me, it’s shown a terrible ignorance about parenting and sexuality. Callers have stated that the child will become homosexual because he is being brought up by homosexuals. Nothing could be further from the truth, but people with such a strong belief won’t listen to reason or science.

I think the bottom line here is that people who respond so negatively, firstly to gay couples being parents, and secondly to the whole notion of adoption, have their own issues and experiences that have shaped their thinking. Comments such as, ‘the best interests of the child can only come through living with the birth mother or birth father’, and ‘adoption should be outlawed’ ignore the fact that sometimes, the natural family is the worst place for the child to be brought up in. Is it better for a child to live in a domestic violence situation, rather than be adopted into a safe environment?

I didn’t come from that sort of background, but I am glad that I’m adopted. Yes, it’s sad that I’ve lost my connection with my natural family, and yes, I wish such things didn’t have to happen. But sometimes, it’s unavoidable. And sometimes, life can be better in an adoptive family.

I suppose I am lucky because I had a good adoption. I don’t want to insinuate that bad adoptions don’t occur, because they do. And maybe that’s why some people react so strongly against adoption.

In this current controversy, the birth mother’s mother approached a radio station to reply to all the people who were maligning her daughter. She stated that the baby is ‘thriving’ in his new home. This was her daughter’s choice, backed up by her family, and she said there would never be any regrets. And this little boy won’t be deprived of his natural family down the track.

Maybe my own personal experience is behind my support for this adoption. I acknowledge that. I’ve seen all sides of the fence and I know just how hard it can be for a single mother contemplating bringing up a baby alone.

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